The Boss

boss-300x0 I mentioned a week ago that Piggle is giving the Terrible Twos his all. We’ve had some good days here and there, but all in all, our house is a war zone. I also confessed to aggravating the issue by having an awful temper, and promised to try curbing my yelling. Over the past week, I have yelled. A lot. BUT! It was nowhere near what it was prior to making my promise. I think there were only two really bad days in total. I’ve noticed a huge improvement in Piggle’s attitude since I’ve stopped flipping my shit as much. He responds better to direction, is less grouchy all around, and hasn’t acted out nearly as much as he usually does.

I still feel guilty for having broken my promise—especially the other day when I absolutely lost it on him for beating Sequel around the head with a teether. That night, I broke down crying because it really was a shitty day. That said, I am really proud of myself for the little progress I did achieve, and I am hell-bent on improving myself further! It actually wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be. It really helped to have that little voice in the back of my mind to remind me to keep calm.

The Terrible Twos actually aren’t all bad. Piggle has never really been a shy kid (I wonder where he got that from…), but he had a tendency to just follow along with whatever was going on around him. While that was great when he was a baby, I worried that he’d wind up being the kid who got picked on or worse, become such a follower that he started high school with his face in a bowl of cocaine. Okay, so I know that is highly improbable because let’s face it, cocaine is too expensive, but I did worry about his ability to assert himself. Well, I’m not worried about it anymore. In fact, I’m actually kind of scared of him.

Instead of fretting over him being the dorky kid who gets picked on, I am now picturing him beating the snot out of some poor soul for his lunch money. Piggle is a bully! It’s probably a normal phase, but holy hell! His mouth is either going to make him millions or get him punched. I’ve never met a bossier kid, and even I sometimes cower under his demands!

“No, Mommy! Don’t say that to me!”

“No, Mommy! Stop singing!” (can’t really blame him for that one—I sound like a dying cat)

“Mommy, sit down and don’t move!”

“It’s mine! I don’t share!”

and the worst example (and entirely my fault):

“For fuck sakes! God damn it, Mommy. Go to your room! ONE…TWO…THREE!”

Those are just a few of the things that come flying out of his mouth on a regular basis. And Jesus help anyone who doesn’t listen to him the first time! He’s a fucking tyrant!

The thing is, I don’t hate it. I find it hilarious. Particularly because it is very hard to take an order seriously when it is being squeaked at you in a baby voice! Of course, when I laugh, I get a time-out, so I’m learning very quickly to hide my giggles.

I still want to toss him out a window when he throws a tantrum, but at least we still have something to laugh about! It makes it easier to not yell because it’s almost impossible to scream and howl with laughter at the same time (in my case, it ends with me peeing my pants, but that’s a constant occurrence for me anyway).

What’s the craziest demand your child has made?

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  1. Jake yelled at daddy last night for picking on me and also snuggling with me cause that’s a “no no daddy! Bad boy bad daddy” also I get infomed of when I need to take a drink and when my cup is empty I have to have a refill NOW!!!

  2. sherri teat says:

    My child has stuck his foot in my face, wiggled his toes and said “lick it mommy” I’m like “um hell no” lol wth child?

    • HAHAHAHAHA! I kid you not, Piggle said something very similar to me the other day! “Mommy! I have a bo-bo on my bum. KISS IT!” I never thought a toddler would tell me to kiss his ass! HAHA!

  3. E told me today that I needed to eat my frozen peaches with a “poon”. Then she stated, “Doant yew know mom, if you doant use yer poon, yer goin to get a pankin and go to time out”. She then went and got me a spoon and watched me like a hawk to make sure I didn’t cheat. Piggle and her could rule a country or three if they ever got together….lord help us.

  4. Great story…..I have two boys so I am being told what to do most of the time! I have to say redirection is the best way to dissolve a melt down. I do it with my boys all the time and it usually works :)
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  5. Oh wow. You just made me fear the “Terrible Two” phase.
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